Why Leaders Should Acknowledge Disappointment

Having worked in various industries before commercial cleaning, I’ve noticed something over time. The level of discouragement and disappointment in this industry feels higher than what I experienced elsewhere. 

In sales, it might look like working hard on a proposal, feeling confident about your chances, and then finding out you didn’t win. Sometimes you don’t even get a call. It might be receiving an email from a customer saying they’re ending services and moving to another vendor. Or it could be a trustworthy team member breaking that trust, which leads to a parting of ways. 

All industries deal with disappointment, but in our industry, it tends to show up more frequently and visibly.Part of that is the nature of what we do. We provide a service, and when something goes wrong, it feels personal. It’s our team, our work, and often, our leadership. There’s not much distance between the outcome and us. There’s also a real impact. Losing an account can affect people’s jobs and the company’s financial health. 

That weight is real and learning how to handle it is part of the job. 

Defensive: It Wasn’t My Fault 

When disappointment hits, one response is to become defensive. It’s easy to point to external factors. The customer was unreasonable. The competition undercut the price. The employee wasn’t a good fit. Sometimes those things are true. 

But when we stay there, we miss the opportunity to learn. A defensive response might protect us in the moment, but it doesn’t help us improve. Over time, it can create a culture where problems are explained away instead of being addressed. 

Demoralized: I Must Be the Problem 

Another response is to internalize disappointment. We take it personally and start to question ourselves. What did I do wrong? Am I cut out for this? In a business where outcomes can feel closely tied to our effort and leadership, it’s easy for disappointment to turn into discouragement. 

The challenge with this response is it drains energy and confidence. Instead of helping us move forward, it keeps us stuck. 

Reflective: What Can I Learn? 

A better path is to reflect. A reflective response doesn’t ignore disappointment; it acknowledges it. It says, “That one hurt.” But then it asks better questions. What can I learn from this? What was within my control? What wasn’t? What would I do differently next time? 

Sometimes there are clear lessons. Sometimes the situation was outside of our control. Both are valuable if we’re willing to look at them honestly. 

This approach also allows us to grow without carrying the full weight of every setback. It requires having a short memory. Not forgetting what happened but not letting it define what happens next. 

Making the Shift 

Disappointment is part of this business—that won’t change. But how we respond to it will shape what happens next. 

As leaders, our teams are watching. They take their cues from how we handle challenges. If we become defensive or discouraged, that spreads. If we respond with steadiness, perspective, and a willingness to learn, that does too. 

We don’t get to choose whether disappointment shows up, but we do get to choose what we do with it. And over time, that choice makes a radical difference. 

Jeff Carmon, CBSE, is the Business Development Director at Frantz Building Services. He is also a consultant, content creator, and speaker for Elite BSC, which provides resources and education for like-minded BSCs.